Thursday, June 25, 2009
It had been 2 years since I had stopped updating my blog.
All of the sudden, I went to my blog and this reminds me that whenever I think of that guy, perhaps I can write it down. Whenever I log in to Facebook, I will always search for he, to see what he is doing. As I know he will update photos or write something to share with all his friends. Maybe I am just unable to let go of him after 1 month plus of break up. He keeps asking me to let go but this is not just a few words and you will be able to let go. I believe when you are reading this post, your first response is: time will heal everything but how long will it take for me to let go of him totally? I do not know how much tears I had shed for him? When I had started to love him slowly, he wants to give up this relationship. I just do not understand why things do not work up the way I want it to be. We used to be a loving couple and I thought this will last forever. Things started to change when he started attending school.
Initially I thought I just think too much and we started having quarrel very often till one day he can’t take it that I doubt him and he asked for a break up. If that day I can control my temper and do not pick a fight with him, I am sure we will be a loving couple.
Every night before I go to bed, I will hug the teddy bear that he had given it to me. It is not an ordinary teddy bear but in fact this teddy bear has a meaning. It means that from that day he gave this teddy bear to me, he will love me and will not let me go. This is the day he had decided to love me. This teddy bear has a birthday and it is name under me, she is called Joy. Joy is a very cute teddy bear that I love her to bits. Whenever I am feeling down or miss him, I will hug her and talks to her. Seeing Joy will make me feel that he is beside me. Honestly speaking, I was touched by his action. When I look at the teddy bear, I will start to think of him and giving myself false hope that he will come back to me. Why will I have this kind of thinking?
I really hope he still has feeling for me and will come back to me, I always believe that things happen for a reason. When it had happened, you must think of ways to solve it but don’t dwell for too long. However I had been dwelling on it and giving myself false hope he will be back. Is our love not strong enough to outstands any obstacles? Don’t underestimate the power of love, as long as you still love him, any problems or matter can be solved. But why we can’t solve it together and why must he leave him?
Is it because he know that he will be very busy and he will not have time for me, he choose to give up on this relationship, I remember he once told me that, he want to have a girlfriend only when he has the ability to take care of her, if not he will not commit to a relationship. I hope this is what he is thinking and if we are meant to be together, no matter how far we are, we will still end up being together. Perhaps, this is a test set for us, to let both of us understand each other further before we set to this relationship again. Am I being too naïve to keep thinking he will come back to me again? I hope I am not but on the other hand, I think I am. So what shall I do now? Should I continue waiting or simple just let go off him. He is a very stubborn guy, once he had made a decision, nothing will change his mind.
Anyway I wish him all the best and no matter what, I hope we will still be together.
Joyce shine on ::4:30 PM::
W E L C O M E
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